Twenty-eight years ago today I walked the church aisle to meet my groom at the altar. There we pledged to leave everything and everyone else to put God first and each other second as we followed His will for us. No one handed us a "How To Live Happily Ever After" manual on the way back down the aisle and we would have laughed if they had, confident we didn't need advice on how to be happy together. We drove into the sunset in our getaway car which was decorated with the hymn titles "O Why Not Tonight?" I Surrender All," and "Just As I Am," believing with all our hearts that living for each other would be a piece of wedding cake.
Three months later we had to opportunity to prove we were willing to die for each other. I was waiting in the car at a bank while Tom used the ATM machine when three gunmen approached the car, opened the door and put a gun to my head and told me to get out of the car. Tom heard my screams, saw the three men surrounding me and charged toward the armed men yelling "Leave my wife alone!" When I saw them turn on him, I jumped out of the car and screamed for them to leave him alone and take the car. They drove off in our getaway car to commit another robbery and cracked a man's skull in the process. A couple of days later we found our car impounded and sporting bullet holes from a police chase. It had no rear window and two flattened tires. We were shaken for a long time after this ordeal and thankful God spared both our lives once we understood how much we could have lost.
Abraham must've been in the same shape when God stopped him from killing his son Isaac and he heard the ram in the thicket. God's command that Abraham sacrifice his beloved Isaac troubles anyone who loves someone deeply. I understand it's a prophetic event foreshadowing God's sacrifice of His only Son for our sakes, but it deeply disturbs this wife and mother's heart. Abraham was already in the habit of building altars to sacrifice thank offerings to God for the son of his old age, then out of the blue, God told the new father to build an altar on which he would sacrifice the boy who's name meant "laughter." I wonder if Abraham tried to persuade God to let him plunge the sacrificial knife into his own heart instead of taking Isaac's life. Whether he did or not, at some point he accepted that sacrificing his own life didn't answer the question "Does God mean more to me than anything or anyone else?" Omniscient God didn't command Abraham to do this terrifying thing to prove anything to Him. He knew Abraham would obey so He placed the ram in the thicket to take Isaac's place, but did Abraham know he was willing to give back to God what God had freely given him? Was Abraham certain that life with God was worth even this soul-wrenching sacrifice?
God may or may not call us to die a martyr's death for Him, but He does call us to sacrifice each day to Him (Romans 12:1). Just as in marriage or parenting it's much easier to declare "I'd die for you" than to sacrifice daily the things that get in the way of right relationship, it's easier to declare we'd die for God's kingdom (John 13:37-38) in one dramatic act than it is to sacrifice daily what or who obstructs and diminishes our relationship with Him. The beauty of God's love for us means He abundantly blesses and gives back what we've proved we're willing to release. When we loosen our hold on the things and people competing for first place in our lives, He trusts us to keep them in our lives.
Father, show me who and what I'm allowing to come between You and me. Fill my heart with such love and trust in You that I freely, willingly, lovingly release these blessings into Your Hands. Do with them as You will for Your kingdom's sake. Help me sacrifice what I need to sacrifice to improve my human relationships as well - as You lead. You always provide for us in every circumstance and I'm filled with gratitude for all the times You've blessed our pitiful efforts at giving. Fill us with the hope, joy, and peace that sacrifice can bring. You are worth every sacrifice, great and small.
In the Name of Jesus, for Whom there was no substitute, no ram in the thicket.
"When they reached the place God had old him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood." Genesis 22:9
"God is our refuge and strength. an ever-present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13
inspired by My Utmost for His Highest and Jesus Calling
Oh, wow, Robin! I never knew that that had happened to you and Tom! Thank you for sharing that.
ReplyDeleteA wonderful devotion, as always. Much to think about, and pray about.